Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Introducing Braylen Scott...

We FINALLY landed in Cleveland at 9pm...not bad considering we didn't have a flight till about 2pm! I immeditely checked my phone the second we could turn them on and saw this text: "the little guy decided to make his apperance!" What? We missed it? I had a quick flash of sadness that we weren't at the hospital for our son's birth, but that quickly subsided and turned into sheer excitement and joy!

Waiting for our luggage and getting a rental car seemed to take an eternity. We could not get to the hospital fast enough! We FINALLY arrived at the hospital a little after 10p and immediately went to our birthmom's room to meet our little guy.

Introducing Braylen Scott...

Born October 30, 2012 at 7:31pm
6lbs 13oz
19 1/2 inches long
Even though we didn't make it to the hospital in time for his birth, Braylen was only a few hours old when we first got to lay our eyes on him and we have been in love ever since. We thank God every day for bringing this precious boy into our family.
The hospital was full that night because they had had so many deliveries during the storm so we were unable to stay the first night. We spent a few hours with our sweet baby boy and then had to pull ourselves away to go find a hotel for the night. Hardest. Night. Ever. I hated not being able to be with my baby boy- I couldn't wait to get up the next morning and rush to the hospital!

Nearing the Due Date

I know many of you know the feeling...the waiting feeling when your baby is due very soon. We too experienced that feeling, but our waiting was a little different. When you are pregnant you KNOW how you are feeling, you KNOW if you are getting close to going into labor. When you are adopting, you are waiting, but you DO NOT KNOW if you are close or not. We had a due date- October 29th, but we didn't have many more details than that.

Our birthmom would text us every once in awhile with updates, but the week prior to her due date she hadn't progressed much...she mentioned that if she hadn't delivered by 3 days after her due date that they would induce her, but that was about all we knew. The waiting continued...

Monday, October 29th (the due date) came and went with no news. BUT, Hurricane Sandy had appeared and was causing problems even into Ohio. Maybe, just maybe the storm would cause enough changes in the weather to send her into labor?!? We could only hope...

Tuesday morning we awoke to news of large power outages, flooding and high winds in the Cleveland area. Hmmm....what do we do? We wanted so much to just be in Ohio- even if it was just to wait so we wouldn't miss anything. But, our social worker said we couldn't head that way until our birthmom went into labor and was being admitted to the hospital. Bummer.

This is Lake Erie near Cleveland during the storm...

Around noon I had given into the idea that there would be no baby today...that is, until about 1:30 when I received a text from our birthmomther. She was in labor and headed to the hospital!!! YAY! Quentin and I frantically began throwing clothes in a suitcase while my Dad go online to search for flights for us. Um...did I mention there was a hurricane that caused all kinds of problems across the east coast? Cleveland airport wasn't accepting incoming flights until 3:00pm, flights through Chicago were out due to major airline delays and flights through Nashville were being cancelled due to snow. Great.....

My Dad eventually found us a flight leaving Kansas City at 3:20pm, but we had to go through Atlanta. I didn't even care- just get us to Ohio!! During our trip to the airport and during our layover in Atlanta we continued to receive text updates from our birthmom as she was progressing. Please just let us get there safe and sound!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Weekend #2

As I mentioned before, Quentin and I did the legwork for searching for the perfect baby furniture last weekend. Thankfully, my family decided to come to town this weekend to make the final decision. My Mom and I left the boys to watch college football while we went on the baby furniture search.

After looking at a few options, Mom and I decided on the perfect crib, dresser and chair for the nursery. Success!!

We headed back to the condo to drop off the furniture when we got a phone call from the boys that the garage door was broken. The boys had walked to a nearby bar to watch a little football and had planned on coming back in the house through the garage. It's a little hard to enter your house through the garage when the garage door is broken. My Mom had driven us so we didn't have keys to the house either. Of course, neither of us have our landlords phone number so we were forced to call a locksmith on a Saturday afternoon. Luckily, he got there quickly, but unluckily, he charged $125! Seriously, $125?  Quentin and I have learned our lesson. We now carry not only the garage door opener, but also keys to the front and back door.

After we finally got into the condo, Mom and I left the boys to put together the crib while we went out to do a little more shopping. We were a few blocks away when I received a phone call from our renters. They had locked themsleves out of their condo also! Oops. Lucky for them I was nearby and went over and unlocked the door for them. Crazy that it happened to both of us on the same day!

Mom and I then made our way to Pottery Barn for success #2 of the bedding!

Yay! Baby J's room is starting to come together in just 2 weeks time.

Social Media {Silence}

Many of you have been asking why my blog has been so very silent when we have such exciting news to share with the world. So, here is your answer...

When we found out that we were chosen by a birthmother to parent her baby boy we were over the moon excited...we wanted to tell everyone we had ever met; however our social worker had other plans. She suggested to us that we tell just a few people and avoid social media completely. Um, what?!? You want me to not mention on my (adoption) blog that we are going to be parents in a few short weeks. Um...can I keep my mouth shut? Only time will tell...

I understand her reasoning. The birthmother has picked us, but she could change her mind. She could change her mind up until 72 hours after birth. That is a looong time for me to keep quiet, but I get it. The more people I tell = the more people I have to tell if something goes wrong. I have faith that everything is going to go as planned. I HAVE to have faith. I HAVE to trust that our birthmother will keep her word. I HAVE to believe that this little boy is the perfect child for us. BUT, I also HAVE to be prepared in case our adoption does not go as planned. We have had a lot of up's and down's in our journey to become parents and I HAVE to be prepared for whatever happens. Whatever happens is God's plan for us and I HAVE to trust in him that we are taking the right path with our birthmother.

I was telling this to a few friends the other day and they suggested that I continue to write my blog so I can keep track of our journey, but not post to the website until it is "official". So, I will continue to type for the next few weeks and when the time is right there will be 6 weeks worth of postings show up within a few minutes.

Happy Reading...

Meeting our birthmother

On October 5th we travelled to meet our birthmother. We woke up early Friday morning to catch a plane to Ohio. I was so anxious and nervous I thought I was going to be ill. Thank God that Quentin was able to remain cool and collected the entire trip. From the airport we had about a 40 minute drive. Quentin did his best to calm me down, but he wasn't very successful. I made him promise to do most of the talking in the beginning in case I couldn't say a word. We were the first to arrive and shortly after the social worker arrived. It was so nice to be able to talk to her for a few minutes before the "big meeting". I felt a little calmer, but was still incredibly nervous.

Our birthmom came to meet us and brought her aunt and son for support. After meeting her, my nerves quickly subsided. Our birthmom is absolutely amazing. She loves this baby so very much, but knows she is not in a position to parent another child. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult this decision was for her. I cannot imagine how many sleepless nights were spent coming to this conclusion. She has spent so much time and effort in making a plan for this child to have a better life. She is truly selfless and is looking out for the best interests of both of her children. She is a very true example of the love a mother has for her children. I know that she will do great things in her life and I can only hope that this baby boy will carry on the selfless love and devotion that his birthmother has. We are so very honored and blessed that she has chosen us to raise her son.

In just a few short weeks we will be travelling back to Ohio to meet our new baby boy. We are so very blessed and excited!!

Our trip to Ohio was an incredible experience and one that we will never forget!

October Jitters

I AM SO EXCITED...and nervous...and jittery this week. On Friday we are travelling to Ohio to meet our birthmother! YIKES! We are meeting her and her social worker for lunch. It's just lunch- no biggie, right? But, I can't help but have all kinds of crazy thoughts. I know she has already picked us, but I cannot help but think, "what if she hates us?" What if?

I know this is ridiculous, but I am already planning in my mind what I am going to wear (or more importantly, what Q is going to wear), what we are going to talk about, what questions I should/shouldn't ask and what kind of gift I can bring her. I am a planner- I can't help it, but I need to just go with the flow on this one...I just need to keep telling myself that the next few days!

Lots of prayers as we travel and meet the woman who is giving us the greatest gift we can ever imagine. I do not even have the words to describe how very thankful we are for her. Maybe that is what I am most nervous about- how do you say thank you to someone who is giving you such an amazing gift?

Here's praying that everything is picture perfect.

Baby, Baby, Baby!

Most of you find out you are having a baby and have 9 long months to prepare. 9 MONTHS to think of names, decorate the nursery, find a doctor, find daycare, register and shop for the baby.

We, on the other hand, have 6 little WEEKS to prepare for our baby boy. Yikes- 6 weeks?!?

It's hard to know where to begin when everything is dropped on you at once. You want to enjoy the time realizing you are going to become parents, but you also want to make sure everything is ready for when he arrives. I am a planner- I want everything to be done and in its place. It's kinda hard to be a big planner with only a little over a month to prepare, but I am doing my best. And...what happens if he decides to arrive early? Gotta get things done fast! The countdown is on...

On another note, please keep us in your prayers. There are still many things that can happen before we are able to bring our baby boy home. Even though the birthmother has chosen us, she cannot sign custody over to us until 72 hours after birth. She could still change her mind. We have been praying and have a good feeling that she is serious and committed to giving the baby up for adoption, but there is still that little chance that something could change.

Shopping with the hubby

Quentin got the joy of spending the weekend shopping for baby stuff with me. I drug him to all corners of the city to check out furniture and baby gear. We hit Nebraska Furniture Mart, Babies R Us, USA Baby, Buy Buy Baby and Target. Many of you know how very much my hubby likes to shop so you can imagine how excited he was to visit all these great stores. He did a great job pretending to notice the difference between cribs, but at the end of the day I think he thinks, "a crib is a crib."

We had done a little research prior to being matched so we were able to pick some things out pretty quickly. But, a girl still has to comparison shop and search for the perfect furniture! We had a successful weekend and were able to begin our registry and narrow down our furniture to a few choices.

Thanks to my hubby for being a good sport. At the end of the weekend, he did mention that maybe furniture was something I should look at with my Mom. :)

We got...THE PHONE CALL!!!!!

September 11th started out like any other day. It was a Tuesday- Quentin and I were both working. I hardly ever answer my phone when it is a number that I don't recognize- especially when I am at work, but for some reason that day when my phone started ringing, I answered. I am so thankful that I did because it was a phone call that would change everything. Laurie from our adoption agency was on the other end of that phone call with some exciting news...we have been matched!! September 11th was the day that we learned that we were going to be parents to a baby boy who is due October 29th!

We listened as she told us the details of the situation of the adoption and I was in such shock that I don't think I was processing anything that she said. Luckily, she sent everything by email later that evening so I could actually sit down and go through it all. Even though the birth mother had picked us, we still had to agree to the adoption as well. After spending the evening looking through all the information we decided that our answer was definitely YES!

Wait, what?!? We are going to be parents in 6 weeks? We have been waiting and praying for this to happen for so long that I think we are now in shock! You would think we would be completely prepared, but nothing can prepare you to get that phone call. That day we probably felt every possible emotion- excitement, fear, shock, nervousness, more excitement- you name it, we felt it.

October 29th can't get here soon enough!


As most of you know by now, we have recently had some VERY big news to share! I haven't been posting on the blog during this process so now that everything is official I am going to attempt to rewind and start from the beginning.

Happy Reading...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Book Club

Last month, a few of the girls has the awesome idea of starting a book club. Um...magazine club...err, wine club. Let me explain.

We thought it would be fun to have a night out once a month- just the girls. It just so happens, that one of our favorite wine bars has buy one get one free bottles of wine on Monday nights. It was meant to be. Who can pass up that deal?!?

So, the club started out with every intention to be a "book club", but hey, we are all busy people. Between work, kids, travel and other commitments we all agreed that finding the time to agree on a book and all of us actually reading it in a months time probably wouldn't happen. Enter idea of magazine club. Who doesn't have time to skim a magazine? We thought we could all come to "club" and tell the group something interesting that we learned in a magazine that month. Sounds legit, right? :) We agreed, magazine club it was. However, to make our "club" sound a little more legitimate (ie, so the boys didn't get annoyed we were going out once a month) we decided to continue to call it "Book Club". Plus, for some reason, when people hear you are in a book club it makes you sound more intelligent. I mean, someone may think it is ridiculous that you are going to happy hour on a Monday, but who can possibly say anything about "Book Club"?!?

Last night, marks month 2 of "Book Club." A good time was had, as always. Were any books discussed? No., probably not. But, Monday wine night was definitely a success! :)

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday to the greatest, most wonderful Mom I could have ever asked for! Wish we could have seen you to celebrate your day!

We love you!

Packin' Up & Movin'

It's (almost) official. We are moving. As most of you know, we built a house in the 'burbs a couple years ago. We quickly realized that we aren't really "suburb people" (I know, Dad- you called it). We decided to put our house on the market in March and have suffered through the last few months with an immaculate house, last minute showings and people showing up at our door unannounced. Well, it FINALLY paid off. Yesterday, we got an offer on the house and after lots of counter offers we accepted! Today, they gave us their earnest check so now we are just waiting on the inspection and we will be good to go. I am assuming the inspection will be a breeze since our house is only 2 years old.

Our buyers used a few unusual tactics when putting the offer on our house. Here's the story...
They showed up late (after the hour window to see the house) yesterday and so Quentin was home when they arrived. Quentin offered to leave the house, but they insisted he stay so he could answer some questions. Apparently, they had seen our house before and this was their second visit. Quentin spent the next 45 minutes showing them every last detail of our house. A few hours later, we received a call from our realtor saying that they were writing an offer and he would call when he had it. A short time later, Brian called with their first offer- $10,000 below asking price PLUS the following: $2500 closing costs, a home warranty, our 3 sets of patio furniture, our living room furniture, our family room furniture, our game table, washer and dryer, all kitchen and bar appliances, 2 mounted TV's and all of our stereo equipment. Um....what?!?! Are you serious? Do you want my clothes too? Obviously, we countered and again and again and again. We were out with our friends Scotty and Jacque and kept having to step outside to talk to Brian, our realtor. I think Brian said that we ended up having 10 counter offers. These people really loved our stuff! It was almost comical and I believe both realtors were forced to drink heavily last night due to these funny buyers. Finally, at about 11:30pm we came to an agreement. Whew, that was exhausting just rehashing it! Don't worry, we did not give up all our furniture and belongings. We actually ended with a pretty good deal and are going to walk away with a little cash, but do have to leave some patio furniture, TV's and stereo equipment. Apparently, these people don't realize there is this awesome place called Best Buy where you can buy TV's. I think Q is secretly excited to upgrade his TV anyway so it all worked out!

Of course, our buyers want to move in August 15th so we better kick it into gear to find a new place to live. Another side note, we had considered moving back into our condo for a year (our renters moved out a few weeks ago), but we actually rented it to a new couple last week...go figure! Oh well, we probably didn't want to live in a condo when we have a child anyway...and our dogs have gotten really used to having a yard.

We are a little sad to move away from our fav neighbors, Jake and Eva, but I'm sure we will still see them just as much when we are 20 minutes apart instead of 20 seconds!

Goodbye Suburbs...Hello City!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

{Continuing To Wait}

As I may have mentioned before, I am not the most patient person in the world- and neither is my husband. Traffic, lines, slow walking people drive us crazy! So, this whole adoption process may be driving us a little crazy. We have gotten our hopes up several times the last few months only to have them knocked back down. We are now trying to be a little more proactive in our adoption search. For the last few months we have been using a local agency (who is absolutely wonderful by the way). The only problem is that they only do about 25 adoptions total a year- and the majority of them are cute little caucasian babies. The problem? In case you haven't noticed, we are a biracial couple and kinda want to adopt a biracial baby. So...we have decided to start working with another agency (and still keep working with our current one too). A little larger agency agency this time. Still located in Kansas City, but they do a ton of national adoptions. As in about 300 a year- and even better than this number, is that they do a TON of biracial babes in that total! Yay! You may ask, "why didn't you use this agency in the first place?" Well, good question. The main reason we chose to initially use a smaller agency is cost. Adoption is a little pricey no matter what route you choose, however some agencies charge up front fees and some don't. Our first agency did not charge until we were matched with a baby (bonus!). The new agency, on the other hand, charges some up front fees, but the majority is due at match.

It almost feels like we are starting over because this new agency has an entirely different process. I have just spent the last +/- 8 hours filling out paperwork and online profiles, copying paperwork and finding over 100 pictures for our new profile. Yikes!! I have a few pictures I need to take of our house and neighborhood tomorrow, but after that I should be done. Hooray! Well, for now anyway. Our new agency also requires us to do a video profile so in the next week or so a video camera and instructions will arrive at our doorstep so we can film ourselves. Be prepared friends and may be asked to make special video appearances! :)

On a side note is was SO nice to have my fam in town this weekend to take our minds off all we have to do in regards to adoption. Thank you for sidetracking us...even if just for a few days!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Paper Pregnant

I recently saw this online and had to steal it!

Paper Pregnant: How Adoption and Pregnancy Are Similar
Posted by Diana on June 14th, 2012 at 5:17 pm
paper 300x300 Paper Pregnant: How Adoption and Pregnancy Are SimilarPregnancy has wait times most every woman goes through. The two week wait, the shower countdown, and of course the highly anticipated due date. Among others like the ultrasounds or the first heartbeat.
Adoption has it’s own wait times. The completion of the homestudy, the referral of a child or children, and then the travel date. After that, it’s a finalized adoption later on when the post homestudy is completed.
This process is incredibly different from and yet so much the same with being pregnant with Bella and then my twins. I’ve been told we are “paper pregnant” which fits well (and I think is a cute term). Although, part of me thinks we won’t even be that until we have a referral.
Pregnancy is an instant “Yes! ___ months to go!” Adoption is more of reliving that moment several times over as the process gets closer to an actual time frame you can talk about. Usually the two week wait comes at the very end when you wait for your travel call and get 10-14 days to pack up and head overseas.
This is a very emotional journey of it’s own. We notice a complete difference in reactions when telling people we are adopting – it’s not that they aren’t excited, but there isn’t a actual child (yet) to be excited over. They are more curious and often taken aback (We hear a lot, “So you’ll never have kids again?” and we assure them that isn’t the only reason for adoption), and always eager to know more about it.
The referral of a child to us will be a huge moment – probably the biggest one of this until we go to get them. We will have things to tell people about them, a picture to show, skills and personalities to brag on; as all parents do. We will be able to find out what special needs our child has and research how to best care for them, how it will impact them and us in the future, and connect with others who may know about it. We will be able to get to know our child and see them grow up before we even can hold them and call them ours.
It’s such a different thing to go through in becoming a parent, yet each step reminds me so much of parts my past two pregnancies. So many emotional highs and lows (“We can’t wait!” and “Are we doing the right thing?” and “Can we do this?!”) hit us each and every day. We know in our hearts we were meant for this, that our family isn’t complete yet and our boys didn’t leave us here with the inability to move forward – their memories are always on our minds.
No matter how long this “paper pregnancy” takes, just like when you carry a child in you, it’s always worth it in the end.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to the best Dad in the whole world! I am so blessed to have such a supportive and loving father in my life- I can't imagine my life without him!

And to my hubby, you are an awesome Dad to our four-legged children and I can't wait to see what an awesome Dad you will be very soon!

Love you guys!!

I Am A Slacker...

I have had many comments about my blogging (or lack therof) lately. Apparently, my friends think that I need to update a little lot more often. I will do my best to (try) to update weekly.

After going through months of emotional ups and downs with infertility treatments, I think that I thought switching gears to adoption would be a relief- man, was I wrong! Adoption is a constant waiting game and emotional roller coaster.

For those of you that don't know, in the private adoption world we must be chosen by a birthmother. We have had a couple opportunities for our profile to be submitted to a birthmother. I haven't decided if I like knowing when we are presented or not- it may be better to not know, then I don't have to stress out about it.

In the first case, the birthmother loved us (yay!!); however after we were able to reveiw her medical records and background and talking with our social worker it was a situation that we were just not comfortable with so unfortunately we had to decline. I was perfectly fine with this decision at the time, but as the days pass by I keep hearing a little voice in the back of my head saying "maybe we should have jumped on that situation- what were we thinking?!?" I know, I know, the right situation will come along, but you can't help but wonder, right?

The second time, I found a situation posted online by a referral service. **Another side of adoption I have learned about in private adoption- there are agencies, adoption attorneys, referral services and facilitators. All are very, very different. Some are expensive, some are not; some are ethical, some are not; some require large down payments, some do not...what I have discovered is that domestic adoption is not nearly as regulated as I once believed it to be** The referral service I happened to find this situation on is a pretty good one and the situation was perfect! Awesome birthparents, medical history, etc and our social worker told us to go for it! Of course, Q was out of town at the time and I was working 3 12 hour shifts in a row and all paperwork had to be submitted within 2 days. So, I got to spend my evenings filling out applications, reformatting our online photo album, and going to FedEx at 5am to send our packet to the agency. I was SO excited- I just knew this one was going to be perfect! I. Was. Wrong. Apparently, the agency shows their clients that have already paid fees first, we on the other hand were "outreach clients" since we are registered with another agency and only paid a small application fee to apply for this situation. Long story short, they showed their clients first and the birthmother chose from that group so our profile was not even shown after all that work. So frustrating...

So, the roller coaster continues. Please keep us in your prayers!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Networking...does it really work?

Quentin recently started his own law firm with a friend. Obviously, with a new business networking is a big deal. Quentin who previously has been opposed to social networking (no Facebook page for him!) has now become a big fan of LinkedIn. He spends many a night looking through this website and connecting with people he thinks might be a good contact. Believe it or has worked! Business people have been willing to meet him for coffee and he has made several good contacts! Who knew?!? Maybe social networking isn't so bad after all!

Side note, Q STILL doesn't have a Facebook page, he has given in and at least the firm now has a page! Baby steps...

Now, to the real point of this post. I have heard from many different people that the best way to find a potential child to adopt is through networking. Quentin and I have been hesitant to share every aspect of our personal lives with people, but we are slowly getting better at it (ie blog). We have met and heard about several couples who have adopted through a friend of a friend, word of mouth, posting cards on bulletin boards, advertising online, etc. So, I guess we will give it a try.

Our adoption profile is now on our agency website:

Today, I have also joined several websites that allow agencies to search through potential adoptive parent profiles. I have also emailed several adoption attorneys in several states who will hold our profile at no charge.

I know we have a lot of friends with creative minds so I am asking you to give me any suggestions you can think of- no matter how crazy or unlikely they may seem. You never know who or what will put you in contact with a potential birthmother! I can't wait to hear your ideas!

HURRY UP...and wait.

Since beginning our adoption journey everything has been rush, rush, rush...until our home study was approved last month. Since then, our rushing has turned into waiting. I am definitely not the most patient person in the world and I am definitely much more impatient while waiting for a baby. I find myself constantly checking my phone and email to see if our agency or attorney have tried to get in contact with us, constantly looking at other agencies websites to see if they happen to be looking for adoptive parents for a specific situation and borderline stalking adoption websites and forums.

I have made some new friends in adoption forums who are in the same situation as us and who are also experiencing the waiting. It's nice to know others are having a similar experience and we are not alone while we wait.

Please keep us in your prayers that our waiting will be short lived and we will be matched with a birthmother soon!

Monday, April 30, 2012

What I Learned This Week:

I feel like I am an educated member of society, but what I have learned this week blew me away. Q and I attended an adoption forum at a church near our house the other night. I went in thinking I would hear about adoption options in the community, financing our adoption and meet some good contacts. What I did not expect, was to be completely blown away.

I know that this world is full of children in need- children that need homes, food, shelter and care, but I was absolutely shocked at the statistics of children right here in the United States. Sorry, this may be a little boring...but check out these numbers- it is absolutely insane!

In December 2010...

There were over 10,000 children in state custody

About 3,400 of these children were living with a relative

That leaves 6,700 children in state custody who need foster care....and only 2,800 foster care families

That means that if EVERY foster family has a child that there are still almost 4,000 children that need a place to stay...which means they will be sleeping in a group home.

A child usually stays in state custody for over 24 months


I don't know about you, but this makes me sad...very sad.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Road To Adoption...

We. Are. Adopting. After months and months of crazy shots and hormones, we have decided to no longer pursue fertility treatments and instead turn to adoption to expand our family. Quentin and I are both excited to have children and we came to the realization that we want to be parents- it doesn't matter how we become parents- it matters that we do become parents.

Adoption, like infertility treatments, is much more than I ever imagined. Last month we met with a social worker at an adoption agency. We spent a day and a half with her discussing every aspect of our lives, education, family, friends, medical name it- we probably talked about it.

**Warning, small rant ahead**

In my logical mind, I understand this, but in my crazy, un-rational mind, I do not. Why do we, (somewhat) normal, stable, educated people have to fill out mountains of paperwork, state and federal background checks, FBI clearance, financial reports, letters of recomendation, social worker interviews, and on and on when anyone can have a child?!? Sometimes things just aren't fair...

After our interview and mounds and mounds of paperwork, we are now officially home-study approved! Yay!!! What does this mean, you ask? It means we will be suitable parents for a biracial newborn. :)

So, now the wait begins. We are praying for the perfect match and hopefully our baby will be here soon! Please keep us in your prayers as there are still many obstacles to overcome in this journey!

P.S. Thank you to a few of our WONDERFUL friends who wrote such awesome letters of recommendation for us. You are the best!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Infertility {sucks}

Every little girl grows up imagining what her life will be like one day. It usually goes something like, job, marriage, baby. But what happens when God throws you a curve ball? What happens then? Enter my world:

At age 17, most girls are thinking about everything except having children- thats exactly what I was doing. That is, until I was diagnosed with something that would forever change me. I was told that I would not ever be able to have biological children. At age 17, I don't think I fully comprehended what this would mean later in life. Of course, I was upset, but it wasn't something that would alter my current life.

Fast forward to 2011 and age 30. This diagnosis now alters my current life. This is the year that Quentin and I decided it was time to have children. We knew it was going to be difficult, but I don't think we had any idea what we were in for.

We began meeting with a reproductive doctor (the same one who had been my doctor since age 17). We had a plan. We were going to find someone to donate eggs to us and do IVF with those eggs. Sounds easy enough, right? IVF sounds like a piece of cake until you realize just how many medications and shots you will be giving yourself each day to prepare your body to have a baby. I have never had so many bruises, knots and pain in my body as I did during that time. We found a donor fairly easily and were ready to go.

Our first IVF round was in May of 2011. They transferred 2 embryos into my body and then the 10 day wait began to see if we were pregnant. Longest. Wait. Ever. After the wait, a pregnancy test was taken. It was a positive test, but the hcg levels weren't very high so I had to continue having blood tests done every few days for the next few weeks to make sure it was increasing. It was increasing, but not fast enough which was a bad sign. Finally the day arrived that we could have an ultrasound, but unfortunately there was no heartbeat. We then found out that our babies had implanted in my fallopian tubes and I would miscarry within a few days. Our doctors appointment was on a Friday and I had misscarried by Sunday. We were heartbroken, but kept trusting that God had a plan for us and we still had 2 frozen embryos left to use.

Our second IVF cycle was in November. We transferred our 2 frozen embryos, but this time neither of them implanted. We were now out of embryos. We had a decision to make about what to do next.

We decided that we needed to try IVF one more time with fresh eggs to give it another chance. In January we began another treatment cycle and 2 new embryos were implanted. Sadly, my pregnancy test was again negative.

After 3 tries, we knew we could not continue on this emotional roller coaster. We needed to come up with a plan which has lead us to where we are today...

The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter.


I. Have. A. Blog. Yikes! Every feel like you are being pushed to do something and have absolutely no idea why? That is where I am at right idea why I am starting a blog, but I feel like it's something that I need to do. So, here it goes...